Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.
John 6:27
Why do I feel like I have to be “doing’ something all the time? Honestly, I often feel guilty for just reading a book or watching TV in the middle of the day. I was talking with a friend the other day when she brought this up that we have become doings instead of beings. I never thought about it when I was working but after I quit when people asked what I did with my time I felt like I had to justify my day to them, or come up with some sarcastic answer that I just laid around and ate bon-bons all day. A woman recently asked me what I do all day and I said that I ate ice cream and watched soap operas. She asked me which ones I watched. There goes my sarcasm. Ouch!
I don’t know when we all started thinking we had to be busy all the time. My mom never worked outside the home and I would hate to think what she would have said if anyone had dared ask what she did all day. I think women in her generation were better planners though. She didn’t have the option to run to the grocery store every day and there weren’t any microwaves. I remember eating a lot of casseroles so that we had leftovers. Some of my best memories are of me and my mother sitting in the floor playing cards or board games. I know she had things to do but she made time to play with me.
Why do we put so much stock in “who we are” as defined by our jobs or talents? I should just honestly answer, when asked what I do all day “whatever I need to”.
Some of you may not have had these feelings at all but I am a slow learner. I am finally in a place where I can enjoy having nothing that has to be done at any moment. I find fulfillment in slowing down, spending time in meditation, reading a good book, or just sitting out on the porch with June. I just wish I had done it even before I retired and taken more time to just enjoy my kids.
I recall something I saw in Wal-Mart years ago so vividly that it is scary. It honestly haunts me. I was in there buying groceries while waiting to pick up 1 of the boys at some kind of sports practice. I heard this riotous laughter coming from another aisle. When I looked it was a woman I knew from work with her 2 daughters. They were all 3 trying on Halloween masks and wigs and laughing like crazy. I remember thinking, “Boy I wish I had time to do that with my boys.” Why didn’t I make the tim? The world probably would not have come to an end if we hadn’t ridden horses or roped that day, or if I had just ordered pizza (again) for dinner. Why didn’t I just take more time to enjoy the small things while they were young like trying on silly masks or playing board games or teaching them card games? Shame on me.
Slow down, enjoy the small things. Most of the time whatever it is we think we “have” to do right now really doesn’t matter. “Who we are is more important than what we do.” Jim Denison
I wish I had that time back too. Wish I had known.