Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones

Remember that? My mom and teachers used to tell me that, but words really do hurt. I think though that our words to ourselves are a lot more damaging than words from other people.

I have always believed 2 lies that have had a dramatic impact on my life. First, I always have this feeling that I don’t quite measure up. It’s taken me 61 years to finally accept that I am God’s chosen daughter, I am forgiven, and I am loved. I pray that you all know that too.

I know that a lot of people think I am stuck up. In fact, at a high school reunion a few years ago a classmate told me that. He didn’t mean it in a mean way. He was actually saying that he had judged me wrong. Here’s the thing. If I walk into a room where there are a group of people and I see people in small groups, I have this doubt that they would want to hear anything I have to say. I feel like they are all great friends, with secrets that I would intrude upon and think I’m weird for wanting to join in. If I see you out shopping I may not begin a conversation with you because I just know that you are probably too busy to talk to me or probably don’t even remember me. I know I have missed out on making some great friends and having some terrific conversations. When I was working I usually ate my lunch in my room alone because I just felt that I didn’t have anything worthwhile to share and they would think “What’s she doing in here? She doesn’t belong. She isn’t even on our campus every day.”

The second thing is that I have always thought that if I know something everyone else must have known it years ago. When I told a friend about my blog she suggested I give some tips on practical things in life. I thought, “everyone already knows what I know.” I was terrible at sharing with teachers about helping their students because I just assumed that I didn’t know anything special. I am especially sad about that now because it hurt my students.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Our words are powerful. They are either tools or weapons. I believe that most of us are our own worst critics. We tell ourselves we aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, young enough, good enough, and on and on. We are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”. All different with our own strengths. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others because that’s not how God made us. We are each uniquely made, with our own DNA and honestly what a boring world it would be if we were all the same.

Making friends is hard for me. I have to tell myself any time I walk into a room of people that it will be okay. No one is going to laugh at me. No one is going to think I’m weird, and in fact they might even like me. I might make new friends. They may need to hear encouragement from me. But it’s hard. I have missed out on a lot of life by being this way.

In a sermon a few weeks ago, the pastor said that the average person speaks 16,000 words a day. How many of those words are we using as tools, and how many as weapons? Let’s make a decision to use them as tools to encourage others, then let’s use the 16,000 or so silent words we speak to ourselves as words of encouragement, words of affirmation, words of love. I hope that we can all start saying to ourselves over and over every day, “I am loved. I am a child of God. I am forgiven.”