I have been struggling for several weeks about writing this. It has stayed on my mind and heart so I think I am supposed to. I am still struggling with the words to type at this very moment. My issue is that I don’t want to offend anyone who hasn’t had their prayers answered and has suffered tremendously because of that.
I believe that God does hear us and that he does answer prayers but according to His will, not ours. This is where it gets difficult. We just don’t understand what His will can possibly be when our loved one suffers through cancer treatments and still dies, why our child is taken from us by a drunk driver, why our spouse leaves us, and on and on I can go.
For a while, I am ashamed to say, I quit praying because I thought that if God was going to have his own way what was the use of my prayers anyway. I then found that I missed my quiet time with Him, talking to Him, pouring my heart out and reading and listening for His response. It was then that I really understood that prayer is so much more than our asking. It is about communicating with my Father, who loves me so much that He graciously came down to earth, suffered more than I can imagine, died and rose just so that I could live and be forgiven, no matter what I had done in my past. I don’t deserve any of that for sure, and I don’t deserve any goodness that he gives or any prayers that He answers.
My mother passed away nearly 5 years ago and probably for the last 4-5 years of her life my prayer was for her mind to “come back”. For her to be the feisty, energizer bunny, fearless mom that I knew so well. I just didn’t even know this new person who was living in her skin. I prayed and prayed for her to come back. She didn’t though. My pastor gave me the verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5. The problem was that I didn’t read verse 6. “In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make straight your path.” That submitting part is the hang up. I want what I want and I think I know what’s best for me and my loved ones. I want to be in control and I don’t want to let that go. My prayers for my mother were not answered the way I prayed for but what He did was so much better than I could have imagined. A couple of months before she died she let go of some past hurts, grudges, and anger. She enjoyed visits from people and when she died I believe she was content, although she missed my Dad greatly. She was ready to go home…something I had not prayed for. When I prayed for healing I looked only to the physical, but my Father, her Father, did so much more. He healed her spiritually.
On the day she passed I had been to visit her and we had a great visit. She wasn’t angry. She just missed my Dad. My brother had much the same visit with her a day or 2 before that. What a blessing He gave all 3 of us! I am much more grateful for that than I can explain.
In my BSF study this year the question was asked, “Are you praying for what you want or for the will of the Father?” Ouch! In the perfect world we would be so in tune with God and the Holy Spirit inside of us, as believers, that we would be praying for what He knows is best. There is so much hurt and heartache in this life that sometimes we just can’t possibly see the His will can be best. We don’t understand at all, but someday we will. That is our hope. We have to keep praying, having faith, and believing that He does hear us, He does love us, and He, who is all-knowing, and whose love is so much greater than we can even imagine does answer. Trust and faith: those are the 2 key words I have to keep in my heart. My hope is that whoever reads this will keep those words in their heart too, no matter what you are going through. We aren’t promised that this life will be easy but we are promised that our next life, when we believe in the Gospel, will be perfect. My hope and joy lie in that belief. I hope yours does too.
I have links to a couple of songs that I love listening to when things seem to be crashing in around me. Really listen, they say it all. “In the Eye of the Storm” by Ryan Stevenson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTonhOA5lDs and “Even If” by Mercy Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Well said
Oh my goodness,Candy…so well said. I needed this today! Thanks for saying what I can not.
Great message. I get it. My mom is ready to go to her reward. She’s tired, her body is letting her down. I just spent another great weekend with them and I, we don’t take them for granted. My sister and I talked about how we are so lucky that both mom and dad still have their minds. We are ready to let her go when God sees fit to call her home. Every day is a gift.