Yes, there are some blessings in Dementia

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Job 8:21

My mother had pretty good long-term memory but the short-term memory was pretty much gone. I tell people, jokingly (but true) that she couldn’t remember if we had visited her the day before but if someone had snubbed her in the grocery store 30 years ago, she remembered that. One time I had bought some clothes for her and taken them to her to try on. I think I was probably trying to get her to get out of the house more and she got mad at me for nagging her and wouldn’t try them on. Daddy kept urging her to try them on but she was insistent that she didn’t need them. When she went back to her bedroom for something I told him not to worry about it, that she would forget the next day and try them on. He said, “Oh no, she never forgets about being mad.”

Anyway, here are the blessings. She didn’t remember a lot of painful times in her life. At my Dad’s funeral she told anyone who would listen that she was so lucky because they had never had a cross word. Now I don’t think I know of anyone who has been married for 6 months, much less 60 something years who hasn’t had an argument or 2, but she only remembered the good. I think that is wonderful. Who wants to remember the bad?

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A few weeks ago I had the chance to visit with my cousin. His dad had Alzheimer’s Disease. When he was in the early stages my cousin said that he told him 1 day that he knew he was having some hallucinations. He said, “You know, Punk (my aunt) is here with me again and we just have the best time and I wouldn’t take anything for that.” How wonderful for him to be able to have conversations in his head with the love of his life.

There are so many heart-breaking things that happen when your loved one is suffering from dememtia or Alzheimer’s so you have to look for the blessings where you can find them. Enjoy the good days, remember the good times, and by all means keep your sense of humor.